Two weeks ago the commissioner hearing my motion for a permanent restraining order told me I had to explain why my child would take my abuser's side. I had promised even though she is far from a child that I would not speak against her. I shouldn't have to. She had no place in this horrid situation. However, apparently because of her words, her constant presence with my abuser I was not believed. It did not matter the bruises or his past....the prior 911 call...given no weight. I had no credibility. You see if someone in your family lies about you, then it is true. So I was granted a continuance to give me time to gather mud to sling at my daughter. I told the commissioner I didn't want to do that to my child. She was unmoved and said if I didn't she would deny my motion.
And so, this week I broke my word. I laid out the truth and allowed my other family members to do the same. It was for nothing of course. The order was denied this week anyway. She didn't even bother to read them. It was a formality. Of course it was. If she had granted the order she would have given my claims value and Pierce County will not allow that, not after all that has happened. They have a vested interest in this matter and in making me the villain, the liar and a crazy one at that.
This is what happens when you actually have the gaul to stand up for yourself. I am treated differently the moment I stand before the judge or commissioner presiding over any matter I appear in, which of course have to deal with this matter. They know who I am, or rather who they have decided I am. Well, I do not have to accept that. I define me not any county employee who is looking out for their own good and not mine. My rights have not only been denied, they have been trampled on. I am not going away. I am going to post every court document, every report and email, text messages and screen shots that prove what I say. Every statement and affidavit. I am telling the truth and I can prove it and no one will label me as a liar.
This is very much like a really bad movie that I would never believe was possible. But it is. I wake up to it every day. And I ask myself, the same thing I will now ask you: How could a man arrested in multiple states for multiple offenses, convicted of domestic assault be believed over a victim with bruises who has called 911 on the same man once before and has no record of any kind? How could Deputy Larson not turn over to the prosecutor the pictures of those bruises? How could a DA whose office is IN the Crystal Judson Justice Center refuse to look at those pictures when the victim brought them in? How could she actually say "For the record, I am not going to review any evidence in this case"? (I will have her name for you Monday) How could Deputy Kreis get away with threatening the victim and another, Deputy Wulik be allowed mocking and bullying her on social media? I do not know. It frightens me though and it should you too. How could another Official...Richardson by name complete an "investigation" without ever talking to the witness or the victim?
It was my youngest daughter who pressed me to call the police to begin with. Shortly after we, as a family, had spoken about what had happened that night in July 2013. She called me and said I needed to do it, my son agreed. She texted me back again and said not to. But I already had. It would have never occurred to me that my abuser called them first! Of course he did, she told him everything I said. Everything I did went right back to him. She and her the wife had been in his confidence from sometime by then. Although I would not even begin to realize that until the large Deputy presence that showed up on July 12th 2013 and there stood my daughter...as I was ordered out of the house with my hands raised, my son and his girlfriend following...guns pointed at us by many officers and there stood my daughter, Jessica Potash Honour and her then wife. I can't tell you the crushing blow that it was. To see her standing there with him...I will remember it always. You might remember her name from a bit of an incident at Gig Harbor High School some years ago.....I wrote a letter to the editor for her then....I would have never known or believed she was involved if I had not seen her there.
To finally speak out of the terrible choice I had made in a mate again, To admit what I had allowed myself to tolerate and then not believed, not given help and to be shunned....to be emotionally and financially devastated by the system, whose job it is to protect me...It is too much. That two of my children would take part in this...for what? For me to learn that they had planned together before July 2013, because I had told all my children I was trying to get out of this mess. I had left him 5 times before, twice staying with my oldest daughter Amber. It is hard to accept that she was helping my abuser hide money, bank accounts while she looked me in the face, said she loved me thanked me for watching her son, my grandson for the weekend. She knew. I am still today devastated. How horrible must I be? How much hate does it take for a daughter to do such a thing? I ask myself this all the time. I ask others...my son and my family assure me it is not about me. It is something in them...but I don't know. How does a family recover from this? My son will not forgive and I will never forget. Never trust...never believe anything that they say. And those that knew of their lies and stayed still...keep doing that. I have no place in my heart for silent consent to evil. Lying about your brother and mother for money or other goods is pure evil.
When the court ordered my car sold, because we were so broke...according to my estranged husband, who refused to provide any proof of that and was not made to... the proceeds were used to buy my daughter a brand new car. A child who could't afford to pay her bills, now has my life. My other daughter already had her new car. I paid for that one too. I paid for my ex-husband's attorney's fees and for my own support. And my ex-husband was awarded my premarital belongings. That is what a Pierce County Superior Judge did. I was not allowed an attorney, even though mine had withdrawn for personal reasons with no warning, this after going missing for three weeks at a time, twice! I actually had to have a welfare check done on him! If you are part of the Gig Harbor FB page you already know that, as I sent out a worried plea to have him checked on there.
I will leave for you here what that commissioner would not read even though it was given over to her, as she demanded that I do not two weeks ago and that was not added to the court record.
Superior Court of Washington
For Pierce County
________James Coutu__________ ________
(Clerk's Action Required)
I should not have to do this. There were no children of this marriage. My own children are adults. I grieve more than I will ever have words to express. It's a mother's anguish and my inability to conceive of a circumstance where a child would do such things to their parent. Mostly, I simply mourn. But I am not going away. I am not going to stop. To do that would be to say that it is okay and it isn't. It would be me saying that I don't matter and that this man, this county has defeated me and that I will never do willingly. I am going to keep saying it until someone hears me.