Monday, October 15, 2012

The Stealers of Joy

  So, to go along with yesterdays post, I thought of someone else who will try and take from you. It is the joy stealers. They look perfectly normal, but they are out to do harm. They may not even know what they do. It is such an easy disease to catch, some do not know they have it. My mother is one. If I tell her something good in my life, a nice trip or a new gift from my husband her response is always the same. "It must be nice." She has other phrases and maneuvers to try and take away any happiness you have attained. She will ply you with her woes. Troubles that are visited upon her. Yes, she too is a professional victim of the highest order. But never to go half way when she can go whole. She will also try and make me feel guilty for anything good in my life. If I have my grandson over for a visit and she calls, she will laminate as to how she never sees him, no one ever calls her. And she will be off. On a trip into poor me to the valley of pity. Now, she is only 20 minutes away. A normal person might say, "Would you like company? I would love to see him." but, no. She will go on and on, until I am sorry I even answered took her call. My phone should have a warning that flashes when her number appears. "Answer at your own peril, mood altering"

  It has taught me so much. Having this woman in my life. I know what not to do with my own brood and their chosen partners based on doing just the opposite of whatever she does. There all kinds of joy stealers. The people who are so unhappy that they can no longer share others joys. They have pitched a tent in poor me and are in for the long haul. We are not meant to stay in a valley of despair. We are not equipped to live without hope. It is the small miracles, the little joys that will get us all through the stormy seas. I myself have fallen ill with the epidemic of stealing joy. I have, when hearing a story of someone's good fortune. And then, I stop myself. I remind myself that that is their life no mine. Their goals. I do not wish to have my blessing limited to someone else's portion. I want a full measure of my own. So, I take a moment to remind myself, that my ship sails too. That calm waters will come and I take joy in their success. Because, if they can do it, if they can have it. It can be done. And if it could be  done, then I can do it. And I set my sights on a goal. Oh yes, part of finding joy is having a goal. I cannot wait on my couch for blessings to rain down on me. I must go out and make it happen. If a bad thing befalls me, I must say how am I going to turn this around. What good can I make of this. And there is always good. It might be hidden. It is usually not the first thing to stand out. But I will find it.

  We are all hunters. We either hunt for the positive or we stumble over the negative. And having an empty knapsack, we pick up that negative thing. We look it over as if it is a treasure and we carry it with us. We take it out and show it proudly to others. "Look at this horrible thing that I must endure" We become a prisoner to it. We clear off space and set it on our mantel. So others will see just how hard we have it. It is not an accomplishment. No glory comes with our many sorrows. Some would rather be pitied for what has happened to them. then loved for who they are. Joy stealers can also be dream killers. Never wanting you to get too far ahead of them. Wishing you to stay there in the mud and the shadows of that cold valley of doom. Pass on. Take nothing from them. Do not mark down their words. They are a poison to your spirit. An assassin set on destroying your soul. Take the measure
of them. Look closely, are they happy? Are they a template for you on how to achieve your dreams? If not pass on. Do not stop at the gift shop for a little reminder of your stay. Take nothing from that place. There is nothing there for you.

  Remember to hold on to the good and let go of the bad. It is a choice we all have. We choose the ingredients we add to our life. If you do not wish it to be bitter, add no hate. If you would like no tartness, do not fill it with criticism. You are the chef and the captain. It is all up to you. So I beseech you once again, when life gets hard, and it most surely will, pass on. Leave your knapsack empty if you must. It is better to carry nothing, than to carry troubles. Pass on.


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